So like I said, I gobbled up the deli lady...
But that night’s work was not yet done. There was another soul to deliver to the Great Hereafter. You see, the deli lady’s cuckolded husband too had to answer to God for failing to live up to Biblical teachings.
Ha! That poor fool of a husband - he never taught his wife to be reverent and not to slander. He probably even let her drink too much. The cuckold never trained her how to exercise self-control, how to be pure, to keep busy at home, and not to malign the word of God. He permitted her to cuss and blaspheme the Holy Spirit; such was his lack of control over his woman. He even allowed his wife to work at Sam’s, where she flirted with customers amid the pepperoncinis and deli meats with deliberate indifference to her cowering husband. Yes indeed, for these transgressions against the teachings of the Bible I consumed him too, and with particular alacrity at that.
His flesh was even more succulent than the fare of his shrew wife. Sin adds tastiness to the meat – there simply is no better marinade!
(to be continued)